Start of something wonderful
by celticstarwolf
Summary: She wanted to give him comfort, a shoulder to lean on an ear to listen. When did thing's change? Please R&R thank you
1. Chapter 1: Knowing when the end came

A.N: Ok so I didn't like how I started off the first chapter so I thought hey I can redo it. Weather or not its any better I'll let you be the judge but I hope so. Therefore the whole thing is getting a redo but I want to thank everyone who reviewed, alerted and added to favorites and never fear it will be finished it'd take some time doing so but it will be finished. And it may seem a bit weird I know when it was sent out it said Chapter two but hopefully it will all work out. And now on with the new show.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter one

Knowing when the end came

July TV challenge

Prompt- Private Practice: The end of a beautiful friendship

Cold stone under his ass, equally cold wind blowing around him and yet he sat there his heart and soul feeling just as empty and frigid as his bitter surroundings. Searching for answers to questions his mind would cooked up to torture him and in some cases to give him something to do. Memories fading in and out of his minds eye of the day he wasn't fast enough, the day he came home to emptiness and the day he knew when everything went to hell.

Seeking the quiet solitude of the cemetery letting it seep into his tired aching soul trying to come to terms with the past yet never quite finding that elusive peace. He sat running over everything to many times to count punishing himself for the wrongs he'd done.

"I'm sorry Hail's," he quietly said leaning forward his elbows braced on his knees. "For all the missed anniversaries, birthdays and holidays. For all the time I wasn't there for you and Jack. I wish…" he shook his head over come with one memory.

_He just came home from Mississippi another brutal case he wanted to wipe from his mind though knowing that only time would accomplish that feet, he dropped his brief case beside the coffee table, keys on top and loosened his tie. Checking his answering machine a fruitless task given the fact that most called his cell but a habit ingrained in him. His eye catching the note lying neatly beside the infernal piece of technology Haley's handwriting scrawled across the small piece of paper. _

_**Don't forget about Thursday Aaron. You know Jack won't take his pictures unless your there. Five o'clock Potomac Mall please don't forget.**_

_** Haley**_

_ Looking at his watch a string of curses fell from his lips while he made quick work of his suit jacket, tie and shirt on his way towards the bathroom. He knew damn well he wouldn't make it on time given the fact that it was already ten after four and the mall was a good thirty minutes away in good traffic but that didn't mean he wouldn't try. _

_ Haley stood foot taping on the linoleum floor arms crossed over her chest impatience showing on her face Jack sitting next to her his plastic blue race car keeping him company. She spotted him first rushing in hair still wet from a shower rumpled t-shirt and jeans incasing his body a deep weary sigh leaving her lips. _

_ He stopped, but she held up a hand to stall any words he may have said, "Later right now Jack." _

_ Aaron nodded greeting his son with a big hug and whispered words that he missed him and loved him no matter what. The sight tugged at her heart but only slightly she was getting over the past the quicker the better or so she thought as she watched father and son interact while the photographer snapped away. Smiles gracing Jack's face as Aaron made funny faces and noises her heart clenched at the sight missing the simple times in their lives before… _

_ Haley shook her head times had changed they hadn't been a family for over a year she was moving on she had to move on even if it ripped out her heart in the process. _

_ Half an hour later Aaron stood beside Haley's dark blue Odyssey as she belted Jack in giving him his race car and closing the door behind her. _

_ "Hail's I'm sorry…" Aaron began watching as she took such good care of their son. _

_ A deep bone weary sigh escaped her as she turned to face her ex-husband, "Save it please Aaron it's been a long day for all of us. The pictures are taking care of that's all that matters." _

_ "Understood," he admitted with a brief shake of his head, defeat in his posture, "but still I'm sorry it took so long. The case…" _

_ She held up a hand, "I don't need to hear about your work. Just…" she paused running a frustrated hand through her short blond locks wondering when things became so complicated. "Just call next time when you can't make it or running late." _

_ "Right," came his only reply as he glanced at Haley seeing the strain in her stance and eyes. "If you want I can take Jack tomorrow. The team is on stand down for the next few days." _

_ He knew she loved Jack that she wouldn't trade him for nothing in the world, but stress always did get the best of her and even if they weren't together he would, in the brief times he could, lighten the load on her shoulders if she let him. _

_ "Jack would love that thank you Aaron," she answered turning from him to walk around the van and slip into the driver's seat. _

_ Aaron waited till she turned the key and started the motor, watched as the clear glass slide down and he could hear Jack asking for ice cream. _

_ "Later Jack," she answered her son before turning her attention towards him. "Noon would be all right I'll have Jack ready." _

_ Aaron nodded and watched as she backed out and drove away. _

Hotch blinked to clear the cobwebs his memories created. "I knew that day I'd lost so much more than just our marriage I'd lost our friendship to. Foyet only compounded the situation farther. I wasn't blind when you came to see me in the hospital that afternoon the accusations in your eyes the blame and fear radiated off you in waves. I wish now that our lives had been different."

Sitting up he ran a stiff hand through his hair the cold having yet to seep into his bones though it all ready incased his heart.

"I'm sorry Haley truly and deeply sorry," he whispered eyes staring at the tiny green marker where her grave stone would sit once finished.

He never heard her light steps till she spoke, "You miss her?"

APAPAPAPAPAP

Pulling Esther to a stop beside the curb Penelope reached into the passenger seat and grabbed the bouquet of light pink roses and white mums then exited her beloved car wrapping her arms, clothed in a light green sweater, around her body to starve off the chill. Slow sure steps carried her towards her friend's last resting place thinking how it shouldn't be. Haley was too young with so much life left to live, a son to raise and family that still needed her.

She could still remember the first time she'd met Haley having only been with the BAU for a few weeks still feeling out of place in a world filled with conformity, drab colors and no sense of humor well except for Derek Morgan that is. A chance meeting of two people who couldn't be more opposite and yet the same, one evening when Haley had been waiting for Aaron to get finished they'd struck up a conversation, swapped numbers and formed a bond that lasted until the day she was taken away for good.

"I miss you Haley," Penelope whispered to herself as she weaved in and out of tombstones and trees trying not to slip into any holes or over any roots.

She slowed her steps and looked up seeing a figure sitting on the cold cement bench, slumped forward. Recognizing the dark form in a long sleeved black shirt and jeans she hesitated not wanting to intrude in a private moment she was sure was taking place. But something about his posture, the bend of his shoulders, the weary note she could see emanating from him even with the distance that she still had to cover told her that this man was and would for a while grieve.

Taking another deliberate step she gained the courage to press on knowing he needed someone and by what ever power she was put here at this time and place to be that shoulder. With sure foot steps her confidence grew till she stood with in hearing range catching the last few words he spoke.

"I'm sorry truly and deeply sorry."

She could hear the underlying pain in every note he spoke the deep tenor of his voice an octave lower with unshed emotions and tears the sound rendering a tear in her heart.

She didn't know what possessed her to do it but resting a small warm hand on his shoulder saying, "You miss her?" wanting to comfort and sooth his wounded soul.

"Do I even have that right?" he asked bitterly recognizing the voice but not the soft warming touch.

Penelope sighed, "Of course you do boss man don't be silly."

"She wasn't mine anymore Penelope hadn't been for a long time."

His answer threw her for a loop though she thought she knew better therefore she said as much, "Your wrong Hotch, Haley loved you she never stopped, so you have every right to miss her."

Hotch scuffed, a gruff sound that emanated from deep within his chest, "I highly doubt that Garcia."

"You believe the Oracle of all knowing is in the wrong that she didn't know her best friend in the least bit." Penelope shook her head, "Tsk tsk sir I thought you were a smarter man than that."

Aaron finally looked up and turned to glance at his technical analyst giving her the once over with a skeptical eye taking in the fact that she stood behind him in a light green wood sweater, jeans incasing her legs and a pair of lime green Converse tennie shoes on her feet. A total different picture than she presented while at work though he could see the personal touches that kept the look all her.

"I didn't say that Garcia…" he began eyeing her as she stepping around the stone bench motioned for him to move over and took the empty spot.

"Good to know oh noble one I'd hate to have to wreak havoc on your saving accounts," Penelope smiled letting him know that she was truly kidding. "Yet you don't believe what I told you."

Hotch looked away knowing in his heart she was wrong. "It's not that straightforward Penelope. It's not that I don't consider your words at face value I just knew Haley a bit better."

She wanted to smack her handsome boss in that second but reframed from violence and instead verbally yet nicely lashed out, "That maybe be oh blind boss man of mine but Haley and I shared a lot more than you know. She spoke to me quite often about her feelings on you and the whole messed up network of emotions she tried daily to surf through."

Hotch gave her a disbelieving raise of his eyebrow, "Oh this should be good."

"Very," Penelope acquiesced brightly.

"Then by all means do tell."

"All right then," she said a stronger edger tone to her voice as she stood and started to pace getting worked up. "I'll tell you one thing Aaron Hotchner, Haley wouldn't want you like this. Wallowing in your self pity and blame she'd want you to get off your keister and live for her. To keep Jack safe and knowing that he's loved by both his parents, to stop holding yourself responsible for something that was out of your control. To teach Jack about love and family and honor and know that she loved you till her dying day regardless of what you may think inside that big handsome brain of yours."

A soft chuckle slipped from his lips, "You know I think after that out burst Penelope you've earned the right to call me Aaron even after calling me out on my shit."

She blushed a scandalous look marring her features as she realized everything that she had said. "Sir I didn't mean…"

He held up a hand as he stood facing her, "No your right a part of me can't let go of the guilt and may never let go. But that doesn't mean I should stop living right?"

"To right boss man or I'll kick you cute butt myself."

"I do know one thing," he said turning from her sadness enveloping him once more, "when mine and Haley's friendship died that's when our love started to fail. When we couldn't talk through the differences like in the old days when we stopped going to each other for support," he heard Penelope start to protest and he turned back to her. "I'm serious. Yes she may have still loved me as I did her but she wasn't in love with me. That along with our ruined friendship died long before she finally walked out of my life."

Penelope shook her blonde head, "Oh foolish one you never see do you?" she glanced up at him then tossed out a question he wasn't expecting, "Have you eaten?"

"No," came the simple reply.

"Good," she returned brightly. "Let me place these and say a few words and we can go I know this diner not far good food and excellent service."

"Penelope," he began but she cut across him.

"I'm not taking no for an answer boss man," she stated turning to show the discussion was over on the matter at hand. She bent down and placed her bouquet of flowers down feeling the chilled wind whip around and through her, "Rest in peace kitten you will be missed by so many." She rose and faced her boss a sad smile tugging at her lips, "Now I will leave you to your goodbye but that no way means you leave without me got it?"

"Yes ma'am," he mocked sternly.

"To right," she said side stepping around him and walking off.

Hotch watched her for a short period of time till she disappeared behind a group of trees then turned back to Haley's grave.

"She was right about one thing Hails you will be missed and I hope where ever you are that you've found peace."

With those last few words Aaron Hotchner turned from his ex-wife's grave and started to make his way following much the same path Penelope had when he felt a brush of wind across his face. Never one to be religious the simple caress stopped him in his tracks as he looked around the delicate aroma of roses and vanilla on the wind as it passed by. He shook it off and continued knowing Penelope could get impatience at times.


	2. Chapter 2: A shoulder to lean on

A.N: Ok finding my blunder just now and am so sorry for the mistake but not here is the reall chapter two and I hope you like it. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, alerted and added to favorites chapter one and now on with the show.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter two

A shoulder to lean on

Mental the only word that made sense to why she'd asked her boss to lunch. On their own wasn't something they did very often if at all. Normally they didn't share air space unless it had something to do with a case. It'd been a long, too long of a time since that night in a smoky, noisy bar one of the rare times the whole, sans one, gathered to relax and unwind short lived as it was.

The memory struck a cord of pain in her chest remembering that Haley had been out with them cutting a mean rub with Hotch showing everyone else how it's done. They been so adorable together two peas in one large pod was what Penelope always told her. wishing for herself to have something close to what they had the chemistry and sensuality, the friendship and partnership all balled into one neat little package.

But something always disturbed Penelope about their sweet romance, why did it end? A simple, yet complicated question Penelope always found herself mulling over. Sure she'd asked Haley many times over the last two years, but never did the other blonde answer her questions. Yet Haley always professed to harbor deep feelings for the stoic man who'd once been her husband. On the other hand maybe her feelings truly didn't go that deep after all. Perhaps like so many other failed marriages the deep feelings were just residual affects of being together.

"Pull yourself together Garcie now's not the time to analyze someone else's feelings when you have your own messed up romance," Penelope scolded herself reaching into her pocket to pull her keys out.

Romance pa, more like over cooked no good leftovers. The thought made her cringe with discussed after all they'd been together for over two years and most of the time they were good years. But disappointment started to grow within her chest every time they were together. Something kept telling her that he wasn't the right one that there was someone better who'd take care of her and love her for all the faults she possessed as she would them.

"Good luck with that one hon it's not like it'd ever happen," she admonished herself turning to lean against the vintage caddy eyes drawn down to the dry dead grass at her feet.

"You know it's a sign of insanity when you talk to yourself Garcia," a voice said from in front of her.

Startled she went to stand strait but instead over stepped and began to fall forward tripping over the curb in her haste. Instinct kicked in and Hotch launched towards her catching her deftly in his strong arms guiding her back up while keeping her encompassed within the shelter of his embrace.

Blushing fiercely she refused to meet his eyes but rather kept them firmly downward. Foolishness swept though her wishing she'd landed on her face in lieu of his arms.

"Are you ok Penelope?" he asked voice right next to her ear breath ghosting over her skin.

She nodded, "Fine boss man thank you for catching this damsel in distress."

"Part of the job," he retorted seriously in fact the tone had her head snapping up to see if he was offended.

A teasing rarely seen light played in the dark brown orbs and she wondered where this man came from. "Sir did you hit your head, cause I swear I think you just tried to make a joke."

"I do have a sense of humor," Hotch admonished letting her go slowly.

"Really?" she asked feigning seriousness.

"Garcia," he groaned with a shake of his head.

"Yes boss man," she retuned cheekily.

"Get in the car so we can go have lunch."

"Of course sir will do sir," Penelope grinned seeing him roll his eyes.

"Enough with the sir's all ready we're not at work after all besides its Hotch remember or if your feeling daring Aaron."

Penelope nodded trying not to think how weird the situation was or how handsome her boss looked in his fitted Levi jeans and dark blue shirt. Shaking her head to clear those thoughts she opened her car door, stepping behind the steel and glass and faced Hotch once more seeing that he had a far off look in his eyes.

"Hotch," Penelope called observing him closely as his eyes came to lock with hers.

"Penelope."

"If you have other plans, duties and engagements you don't have to go too lunch with me. I just thought you'd like some company. I mean you're a busy man after all with Jack and other arrangements, its ok if you have to do…" she trailed off quietly a rare occurrence in her life.

She'd never been one to become speechless, yet there was something about her boss that caused her to clam up and be at a total lose for words. Maybe it had to do with the fact that by all tens and purposes he was the man, stoic and strait laced. The face of no rule braking FBI agent and she was nothing more than a hacker caught showing off to the highest form of government. An actuality she still couldn't wrap her head around at the best of times ever though she'd been working for the man for over six years something her parents would have been highly shocked about.

"Garcia," Hotch called trying to gain her attention. Finally he settled on, "Penelope?"

"Hu, oh sorry oh noble one lost in my own world for a sec," she answered the question in his eyes.

"Figured as much," he returned standing in front of her door the only thing between them. "And to answer your question, I have nothing better to be doing at the moment. Jack is with Jessica, all my paperwork is finished for once and it's Saturday afternoon and I'm hungry. So weather you follow me to Mel's café or not I'm getting some lunch."

She blinked taken back by the sharp yet teasing tone in his voice. Yup today was definitely one for the record books and full of surprises. "You've convinced me s…" he cocked his eyebrow and she corrected herself, "Hotch lead the way oh sculpted leader of the brave I'll follow."

"Good," Hotch said moving away from her door and towards the back, "don't get lost," he called over his shoulder before slipping into his black Tahoe.

With a shake of her head Penelope did the same and started the engine, pulled away from the curb and leaving the cemetery behind.

APAPAPAPAPAPAP

Twenty minutes later they both slipped into side by side parking spots music pouring from Penelope's car just before she shut the engine off. She stepped out wrapping her arms tight around her body to starve off the slight chill that filled the air.

"Inside before we both catch cold," Hotch advised holding the solid glass door open for Penelope.

On the outside the rambled old shack didn't look like much, with mismatched shutters, a faded blue paint job and old time letters above the door naming the place, but inside a whole nother world existed as warm coffee fragranced air met them. Busy didn't even describe how packed the place was. With its fifty's feel, a counter flowed from one end to the next filled with patrons sipping coffee and digging into heaping plates of chicken fried steak, roast beef and soups of all flavors.

"Table," Penelope said spotting a semi quiet little corner nook with a window booth seat.

Hotch nodded and motioned for her to lead the way while he took in the surrounding his profiler mind never stopping.

Once seated a middle aged auburn haired woman came up to their table a genuine smile lighting her slight wrinkled face. "What can I get ya?"

"Coffee to start off with Alice," Penelope answered rubbing her hands together for warmth.

"You got it darlin'," Alice replied with a quick wink placing two menus down and then taking off.

"Friendly," Hotch commented observing his table mates actions. "You got cold quick?"

"I think the temperature dropped a few degrees on the drive here," she answered still rubbing her hands together.

Without a second thought Aaron lay his hands over hers taking the soft palms within his own callused ones encompassing the smaller hands.

"Your like a furnish Hotch," Penelope commented but didn't pull back.

"Haley always said so though I don't know were I got it from."

Penelope giggled something coming to her mind. "You know Reid most likely would know the answer to that one. He'd say something like it was genetics or some other thing like that."

"True," Hotch agreed with a brief shake of his head.

Alice returned in that second with two steaming cups of coffee and a milk carafe, "Have ya'll decided on what you want yet?"

"Oh," Penelope exclaimed feeling Hotch's hands leave hers, "no we sure having Alice. Cant you give us a few?"

"Of course sug no problem at all," Alice replied a slight tip of her head and another smile. But before leaving she asked, "How've you been not seen ya in a while?"

Penelope sighed wearily then glanced up into a pair of deep emerald eyes. "Been better Al but that's life right."

"Got it in one kid," she responded a sad tone entering her voice. "I'll let you get back to the menus," and she walked off.

"I take it you two are well acquainted," Hotch said raising an eyebrow in questioning.

"Something like that boss man," she answered ducking her head.

"Explain?"

"Well," she drew out in exaggeration. "It happened some years back around the first Halloween I lived here in Quantico. Worked a pretty late shift upgrading the servers and finishing the paperwork, I hadn't eaten since lunch at one and of course it happened to be rounding nine by that time. As I was leaving Eric the night watchmen was just coming on and he had them most delicious smelling coffee and food I'd ever had the pleasure of inhaling, so I asked where he got it."

"And he told you Mel's," Hotch provided taking a sip of the same dark fragrant brew with just a personal touch of sugar and milk.

Penelope nodded, "When I come inside Alice, sweet woman that she is, was cursing a blue streak at the computerized cash register. I being the Goddess of all things techno offered to fix the problem and got a free piece of cherry pie and coffee for the help. Not to mention great conversation and company for the next two hours I'd sat and ate my late dinner. We've been friends ever since."

"That's Mel's for ya," Hotch commented a touch of nostalgia in his voice.

"I hear an echo of history there boss man spill."

"Not much to tell really Penelope," Hotch answered picking up the lamented menu to cover his face and scan the meal choices though he knew the large placard by heart.

She nudged the fold of his menu with hers trying to get his attention but finding the action a lesson in futility as he didn't budge. "Come on sweet cheeks spill."

Knowing he wouldn't get any peace Hotch sighed and put down the menu seeing Penelope staring at him with wide playfully innocent eyes. "Haley and I use to come here every Sunday when I wasn't on a case to have breakfast different going to church. We'd sit at the counter and talk about the small things how her week went. In those times she'd actually ask about my job. Those breakfasts seem to warn after Jack was born and so did our talks."

"Oh Hotch," Penelope said sympathy clouding her voice. "I'm sorry I asked."

He waved her off, "Don't be."

Just as she was going to reply her phone started its answer me dance in her phone, the tone, "A bad romance" filled the small space. Penelope pointedly disregarded the noise instead focused on her hands resting on the chipped, scratched and well used Formica table top.

Hotch glanced from her multi colored purse setting beside her, to her turned down face curiosity getting the better of him. "You going to answer that?"

"I know who it is and no it's nothing important," she responded picking the menu up to peruse the selections.

"Something you want to talk about?" he tried again tipping the placard down.

Her cell finally stopped singing as wide honey eyes locked with ocher colored orbs seeing the sincerity in the depths. "No sir just…" she paused knowing that she's slipped in the formality but couldn't help it. "Private…" she finished with and replaced the menu to cover her face.

Cocking an eye brow she couldn't see, Hotch said, "Understandable, Penelope, but if you need to talk…"

"How's Jack?" her question floating over the noise and paper in front of her.

_'Smooth,'_ he thought but accepted her change in subject. "Growing like a weed, smart as a wipe and getting into everything."

The mention of Jack always brought a smile to her features and now was no exception she loved the little guy as if he was her own. The last three almost four months had been a killer on her not to see her little tiger everyday at least once. She'd grown so attached to him it hurt to not be able to stop by after work and see him and talk with Haley about everything.

Another pang of regret flashed through her heart at the painful thought. She missed her best friend just as equally in those long months. Sure Morgan held the best friend card but both JJ and Haley held the best girl friend card for so long and when JJ wasn't in town Penelope had always went to Haley and sometimes even if JJ was. The very idea that she'd not be able to see Haley again constricted her heart painfully.

However, she pushed that all aside she wasn't here for comfort but to support Hotch to help him in his time of recovery and grief.

Dropping the thin laminated paper to the table top she surveyed Hotch with serious eyes, "Any nightmares?"

"A few," Hotch offered slowly, "but then that is to be accepted after all. Some nights are worse than others, but we'll get there."

"Of course you will Jack's strong like his father," Penelope commented seeing Alice return. Quickly she added, "And you?"

They gave her their orders and settled into a short space of quietness letting the diners around them encompass and enclose them.

Finally Hotch spoke again answering her question, looking down at his joined hands in front of him, "As well as can be expected Penelope."

"It takes time boss man, to heal, to move on it all takes time," she stated resting a over his trying to give him strength something she didn't feel at the moment.

Quietly he confessed, "I miss her."

Without meaning to a single tear formed and slipped down her cheek to splash against her hand the only way she knew it had fell at all. Quickly wiping at the moist and apologizing, "Sorry I seem to be a bit emotional today."

"No need to apologize. We all have our moments of weakness," Hotch stated simply.

"You don't," the statement slipped out before she could stop herself. "Hotch I didn't mean…" she trailed off.

Hotch waved it off as a deep bone weary sigh left his lips. "And maybe I should have."

"I'm sorry boss man I shouldn't…" and she stopped as his words permeated her confused and emotionally muddled brain. "Come again?"

"Maybe I should've shown some weakness," he replied pulling his hands from her grasp and running one through his hair staring out the now frosting window. "I lost her because I didn't want to face what I knew was coming. What I should've prevented from happening in the first place. But I couldn't tell her or show her why."

Penelope gave him a confused look. "You're not making much sense oh wise one. All this mental mambo jumbo is hurting my head so please strait English."

He faced her once more a sad grin pulling at his lips. "Life makes no sense Penelope," he stated cryptically. "It's true though. You see I'd lost my father when I was barely on the cusp of manhood, thirteen to be exact. Granted we never had much of a relationship one should have with their father and he was never the ideal parent either, but I still missed him, still wished he'd been a better man. After dad died I became the man of the house helping Mom raise Sean the best I could, school, and ever getting a part time job top help pay bills."

Sadness enveloped her heart which cried out for the child Aaron had been. "Too much for a child to be burdened with."

"True but there was no one else and I refused to be like my father and leave everything up to Mom. Besides I wanted to prove I was up to the challenge that I wouldn't let her down," Hotch answered as memories slipped though his mind. "I never got the chance to tell Mom that I loved her that she meant the world to me." Briefly he turned from those warm sincere brown eyes covered by simple green frames to glance out the window. "She passed away two months before I graduated high school breast cancer. All I had left was Sean and being eight thought I knew how to raise a teenage that bucked and balked at every turn."

Reaching out she grasped his joined hands once again gaining his attention. "She did love you Aaron," Penelope whisper, "A mother always loves her children no matter what."

Hotch nodded emotions choking his throat yet no tears fell from his eye. Clearing his voice, "I know that now but back then I though she left me cause I wasn't worthy of her love. I'd figured that's way Dad never stayed around and took notice of us. It's why I never could explain to Haley my thoughts and feelings. I figured when she walked out that I wasn't worthy of her love either."

Penelope gasped quietly feeling torn for such a broken and emotionally scared man one who she'd always seen as strong and put together, now knowing the truth.

Timidly she reached across the table and cupped his lightly stubbled cheek in her palm forcing him to face her when she said, "You were and are worth of love Aaron Hotchner and you always will be never for get that."

Their eyes locked for a long expanse of time as Aaron saw the truth of her words shining within her eyes her own pain shimmering just below untouched. For Penelope it was being able to see what so many had over looked in their strong stoic leader… his heart.

The atmosphere was broken when Alice returned with their lunch and wasn't picked back up. Instead they settled on other topics Jack, work and life outside the BAU, safe topics that wouldn't conger up to many painful memories.


	3. Chapter 3: Need you now

A.N: I know it's been a long time in coming, a very long time in coming but I hope you all will stick with me while I figure this one out. And not without further stalling on with the show.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter three

Need you now

December 2009

She couldn't believe her rotten crappy luck and on Sunday of all days to have such despicable things happen to her. She was a good person after all helped out at the local community center, gave money to church, helped out friends when they needed it. So why did she have such crummy luck?

The question whorled around her mind for the second time in the space of a few minutes while she took in the fact that her classic caddy Esther sat parked at Kroger's with a flat tire. A whoosh of air rushed passed her parted lips as resignation of the situation had her shoulders dropping. Her hand slipping into her gold and silver handbag in search of her cell phone only to find once brought from the dark depths that the batteries were dead and therefore useless in her bid to call for help.

Closing her eyes against the beginning ache Penelope tried to figure out just what she was going to do, while stowing her grocery's in the back seat. She knew Derek would ride to her rescue without a second thought, but the fact that he was across DC at one of his properties had that idea nixed two seconds later. Her next thought landed with JJ, but there to she came up empty cause the petite blonde, son and husband were out of town on there one rare weekend off before the holiday season kicked in. Another deep sigh fled her body knowing her only choice now would be Kevin. Thoughts flashed back to that morning.

_ Bright pink tipped fingers searched for the annoy source of the high pitched buzzing noise, once found she slammed her hand down to stop the infernal racket flopping back into the warmth of the mountain of pillows surrounding her. Groaning Penelope pulled herself back up flipping the covers off and hauling her body from the soft comfortable mattress underneath and padding towards the bathroom. _

_ "It is Sunday after all Penelope," she told herself staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. "It does you good," she concluded with a sharp nod before getting undressed and starting her shower. _

_ Thirty minutes later feeling refreshed and ready to grab the world by the balls, she padded towards her kitchen warm light blue terry cloth wrapped around her body, fluffy white towel bundled around her wet hair. A blinking red light had her pausing to check what messages were left while she started on making a pot of coffee. _

_**"Penny," came the slightly whining male voice over the tiny speaker of the machine. "I know your home. Why are you ignoring my calls?" **_

___Penelope sighed resting both hands on the counters edge to gain strength and patience. Truth be told she hadn't been dodging his calls well not out of spite anyway but over the last few days Kevin had become clingy and whiny. She knew he worried about her, about the job she did, not that it wasn't sweet, but really enough was enough already. She wasn't going to break apart just because her best friend had been killed and she damn sure wasn't going to move departments just because Kevin felt a little on edge._

_**"Fine I guess you're not going to answer I'll try back later and answer this time," Kevin finished before hanging up with a soft click. **_

_**This was her life damn it**__, Penelope thought slamming her hand down on the bright yellow tile for emphasize only gaining a sore palm in the process with no one but herself in the apartment. As she now had his phone to look forward to later. _

_ Forcing herself away, after taking a few calming breaths, Penelope proceeded to start her morning routine getting the bagels out to toast and the strawberry cream cheese before heading back to get dressed for Sunday morning church. Fragrant coffee filled air met her noise while she put the finishing touches on her hair, clipping the last piece of platinum blonde hair in place. Giving herself a sharp nod of approval before collecting her purse hearing the subtle beep of her cell she pulled it free to check and sure enough three new text messages and a voice mail waited for her all from Kevin. Exasperated beyond all belief Penelope shoved the offending contraption back inside her purse, but not before putting the ringer on vibrate._

_ Tan heels clicked on dark brown tile as she made her way back towards the kitchen to fix her travel mug of coffee, slather a good dollop of cream cheese on a plain Thomas© bagel, before heading out the door ignoring the shake from within her silver and gold bag at her left shoulder. _

Now standing in the cold wind, with weak sunlight for warmth, Penelope cursed her luck while fishing through her purse for change.

_'I really should've stayed home in bed today,'_ Penelope mused starting the trek back towards the jam packed store.

"Garcia?" a deep voice called breaking her from a morbid train of thoughts.

Slowly Penelope turned smoothing a hand down her bright yellow jacketed sides, "Hotch."

The profiler in him knew something was amiss just by her stance and fumbling fingers. A frown marred his handsome features as he watched her. "Something wrong?"

"No of course not why would you say that," she returned her voice dripping in sarcasm not meant to be directed with him.

"Aunt Penny ok?" Jack asked tugging on his father's black jacket.

"Not sure buddy," Aaron answered with a brief glance at his son, before turning stern dark eyes back towards his tech. "Are you alright Garcia?"

She knew that look the don't give me no shit I can see right through you, look that Penelope hadn't seen directed at her in some time.

Shoulders drooped, eyes dropping towards her shuffling feet, "Got a flat tire," she mumbled.

"What?" Aaron asked astonished that Penelope would let something happen to her baby Esther.

Eyes shot up to glare at a half grinning man, "I have a flat tire ok?"

"And you didn't call Triplet A?"

Again she mumbled something Hotch had to strain to hear and found hard to believe would the words met his ears.

"What was that?"

Exasperated, Penelope stomped an impetuous foot into the cemented parking lot, huffing out, "My phones dead ok."

"Now was that so hard," Aaron said trying to hold in the laugh that threatened to spill forth, but came out as a harsh snort.

"Your being mean spirited boss man especial when this damsel is in distress," Penelope pouted her bottom lip sticking out a fraction.

"Aunt Penny," Jack's small voice came from below, while he tugged at her light green skirt. "Daddy won't like if you pout. He says we don't do that."

Penelope caught Aaron's eyes arching her brow for a second before squatting down to Jack's level. "I know Jacker's daddy isn't much fun is he?"

"He is at times," Jack truthfully answered a grin pulling at his tiny lips.

She winked at the little boy ruffling his hair affectionately, leaning in to whisper, "You think he'd be willing to help me?"

Penelope knew it was evil to use Jack against his father, but there was something about the way his eyes glimmered with unshed mirth that had the imp in her wanting to hear his laughter in full not just bits and pieces especially at a time when laughter would be the farthest thing from his mind.

Jack turned to his father, pulling at Aaron's jeans getting his attention. "Daddy you help Aunt Penny she needs you," Jack demanded in his childlike way.

"Of course I'll help her Jack. All she has to do is ask," Aaron answered bending down to pick his son up. "You have a spare Garcia?"

Her shoulders slumped once again, "I never got around to getting another spare put back from the last time I had a flat. Besides I would've had Esther fixed by now if I'd had that," Penelope defended herself trying to regain some of her dignity.

"Of that I have no doubt," Aaron assured her. "Let's take a look at the damage shall we."

Nodding she lead the pair back towards her beloved ride and motioned down at the offending piece of rubber that wouldn't hold water much less air.

Setting Jack on the truck and pulled his jeans up Aaron squatted down inspecting the tread carefully feeling for nails and coming up short. Glancing up with a frown on his lips Aaron rose back to his full height, "I don't feel anything in the treads, but it doesn't mean there's nothing there. I have Fix a flat in the truck if you give me a minute…"

"Anything Hotch I'm freezing," Penelope groaned hoping the problem would be fixed if just temporary till Monday.

He nodded jogging off back towards his own vehicle.

Facing Jack, Penelope wrapped the small boy in her arms seeing him shiver when the wind blew. Willingly he went into her arms burying his cold face into the crook of her neck.

"Aunt Penny?" Jack asked quietly unsure if he'd get a straight answer.

"Yes Jackers!" Penelope answered seeing the turn in Jack's mood and behavior.

Pulling himself free for a second he looked up big doe eyes filled with sadness. "Will Santa know where I'm at now?"

Penelope cocked her head already know the best answer, "Of course he will Jack Santa knows everything."

"But can he give me what I want?"

"And what's the sweetheart?"

"My mommy," he answered reburying his face to keep from showing the tears that threaten to spill.

"Oh Jack," Penelope said her voice filled with pain and sorrow for a child who lost so much in a short period of time. "Mommy's with Jesus this Christmas helping to celebrate his birthday in person. But she'll never not be with you sweetie."

"But how?' he asked desperately voice mumbled with the fabric.

Penelope inched Jack back so she could place a hand over his heart, "She'll always be here Jack. A place to keep her for all time and there she will never leave you and always love you," she answered emotions clogging her own vocal cords as she blinked a few times to clear the moisture. "So what else do you want for Christmas?"

Jack sat there thinking for a few mulling over the ideas in his mind, "Iron Man," came the innocent response.

"You'll have to wait and see if Santa brings that Jack," Hotch called starling Penelope, who turned and caught the look in his eyes.

"You heard?" it really wasn't a question more of an affirmation of the truth she already knew.

A quick nod to answer was all he gave her while he dropped back down to fix her tire.

"All set Garcia, but…"

"Never have liked how you say that Hotch it always spells trouble," Penelope groaned.

Hotch shook his head, "No trouble, but I will be following you first to the local gas station then home just to make sure nothing happens."

"Why thank you so much kind sir," Penelope drawled out dramatically with a fake sworn. "And here I thought you'd little old me to the wolves."

"Cute Garcia," Hotch commented dryly scooping Jack up into his arms.

"Daddy is we going home to Aunt Penny's?" Jack asked sleepily resting his small head on his father's broad shoulder.

"Something like that buddy, you nap for now," Aaron answered softly brushing light brown hair back from his son's brow.

"Hotch really you don't have…" but Aaron cut her off with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Yes I do, I don't want to hear that you've gotten yourself into some accident or who knows what else," he argued giving her a stern look. "Now get in that car and start it up so you get warm, but wait till I'm behind you to back out. Understood?"

"Yes sir Agent Hotchner sir," Penelope responded cheekily with a sharp wink. However, before she slipped behind the wheel of her classic caddy she called out, "You know that tough guy act doesn't work so well with a drooling, sleeping four year old in your arms. In fact it's cute and…" she paused swiveled to catch his eyes sincerity in her voice while saying, "Thank you Aaron."

Shaking his head at the simple gesture, Aaron pivoted on the balls of his feet knowing how impatience Penelope could get, to make the short trek back to his SUV.


End file.
